If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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