The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Randomize
