Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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