Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
