So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
