UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
this boner is exhausting
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
