winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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