I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize