Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
