I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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