This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Let's paint friendship bongs
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
