Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
