Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
