I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
