I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
