i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize