your thong is hanging out like whoa
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
