Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize