Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
that is very illegal...i love you.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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