I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
