Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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