..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
