i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
