TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
