i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Say something about gay babies.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
