i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We don't watch enough power rangers
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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