She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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