Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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