Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
