How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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