We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
