she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
