Christians are straight up FREAKS
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
