butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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