It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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