Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
