I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
foreskin is a definite game changer
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
