HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
And then my night got REAL pukey
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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