This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
