I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
