I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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