im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
