The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
