Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
