You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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