just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
