i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
