$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
