Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
