Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
