Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
