First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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