i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
