YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
