i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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