You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
