I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
