Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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