come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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