I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
