Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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