You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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