If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How external is "for external use only"?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
did you just send me my own nude
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
