508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
