This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
thus making me awesome and them whores
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize