You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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